Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Second Thoughts

So I've taken the last week and a half off of freelance work for the most part...and it was really nice. I got to come home from work and really be home. I got things done around the house and in the yard. I actually got a sunburn from working outside all day Saturday. I really enjoyed it. But I still didn't like work. Hopefully this just means that I will be even happier when I make the switch entirely, not that I don't want to make it.

Then there's the thought of OUR future. Joe hates his job, hates it, wants to move on very badly. I can't think about switching over while he's in transition too. Plus, I found a few jobs to apply for that would allow me to make more money and give him more flexibility in finding what he really wants to do, and even going back to school.
Can I endure a few more years of corporate life to allow my husband to be happy? Definitely. Will he let me and take advantage of it? That I don't know.

So here I am, only a short while into this adventure, and already wondering what I should really be doing. Can I see myself as the next Communications Manager of the Toledo Port Authority? Yes, I think I can do it, I think I have the skills if not the confidence immediately. But do I want to do it? I don't know.

And if I do continue the corporate route for a while longer, do I want to keep working when I get home still? No, I don't think I do. But do I leave my long-term clients hanging and refuse new ones? That won't be good for the future?

Ugh. Too many questions and not enough answers.

Friday, May 9, 2008

an offer is made...sort of

So I met with the guys Monday and we talked websites...blah, blah, blah. (I actually did get out of here about 4:15 and made it there by 4:45, avoiding rush hour) And then we talked money. I'm not getting paid much working on their website b/c it's a time investment for me, I know that. But they did say they would like to offer me a part time job hopefully in a few months, making about 1/2 of my current salary. So that's great. But, what about the other half? That's the scary part.
I laid it out straight. We can't afford for me to take a pay cut. It's not just me, it's me and Joe and our house and our future. So I just can't. They understand. But now it's up to me to make up the rest. Can I do it? Should I try? Should I leave my salaried position with 401(k), dental and disability for the unknown?
The offer hasn't been made yet, but the offer of an offer. We talked about it and it's what they want in the next few months. Am I ready? I don't know...

Monday, May 5, 2008

Trial Run

So today is my first trial of getting here early, working through lunch and leaving early to meet with clients at a normal hour. Hope my boss goes for it. Getting to work early really wasn't all that bad...but I lose my work hour in the morning...I hope it's worth it.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

The road to freelance-dom.

So I went to dinner last night with my husband, it was nice. We go to talk a bit about the future and our jobs, including my possible switch to fulltime freelancing. And that's scary. I wan to do it, and I think I might be able to sustain an income level similar to where I am now, but I can't be sure and I'm just scared.

It's something I've been thinking about for a few years now. I've been doing it on the side ever since I graduated, and even some before, but lately it's been getting busier. I now get up in the morning, pack lunches and send Joe off to work, then eat breakfast in the office and work for about an hour before I finish getting ready for my "real" job. Then I go to work, but I take my laptop with me. I usually do work over lunch, sometimes answering phone calls and emails for freelance during regular work hours. Then I often have a meeting after work, about freelance work, and get home either around 5:30 or 7, depending on the meeting. I come home, make dinner, and then usually work for a few more hours before I go to bed.

I spend the weekends cleaning my house and working more. I will usually spend some time with my husband and our friends. One time they bribed me to come over by saying I could bring my lame is that?!

I don't do anything else for fun really, just work. I enjoy what I do, really, but I am beginning to miss other things, like sports, working out, reading, working in my yard. I bought a game for our playstation before we even bought our house 2.5 years ago, but haven't played it yet. I think my sister did once, but not me! I don't play.

And it's not getting better. I feel bad. My house suffers and I think my relationships probably suffer some too. And I don't want that.

So, I think this blog is going to be about my journey through my work life, hopefully on the road to freelance (that is if I can find the time to write!) I've always benefited from writing my feelings down, working them out on paper, so-to-speak, so I'll do it again. Enjoy!